I am crying. It’s 1:54 AM in India and I don’t know what’s gotten to me. For the past hour I have been having conversations with myself and been watching YouTube videos that are really sad or just made me sad because of the situation that I am in at the moment.
What’s bothering me ? Cancer (no i don’t have cancer but so many people do) and the doubt about the very existence of God. Lately I have been wishing that I could transform myself to a spiritual person or a person who believes/ has faith in something.. Today I just reached a breaking point.
Why does cancer exist in this planet ?
Why do accidents happen ?
Why do natural disasters happen ?
Why do wars occur ?
Why are there thieves, murders and rapists amongst us ?
Over all Why do very bad things happen to people ?
I am scared. What if God exists but he is evil? Or even worse he is a business man who does things only for profit, if he doesn’t find something favorable he just stops doing/aiding that something? What if God is human. I mean what if God thinks and feels the same way that a human does ? Humans are exposed to sins so god must be too?
What if God doesn’t exist ? What is the point of all this? What are we doing on planet earth in a solar system in a far away galaxy where oblivion is inevitable? How do we cure cancer ? How do we stop creating thieves and bad people ? Why am I where I am ? Doing what I am doing ? Dreaming what am dreaming ? Just freaking whyyyy?!!!